Illusion of Life
by Red Rain of Stars
Summary: Karkat is warned that something horrible is going to happen by Rose via pesterchum. It does. The humans are gone, and now Jack/Bec Noir is hunting them with Lord English supporting him. They flee the failing Veil, land in a weird place. They soon begin to leave, when all hell breaks loose. Karkat decides his friends' lives are more than his own. Then comes loneliness...
1. I can walk on water, I can fly

_**I just had a sudden mood for a major sadstuck. Sorry, but I had to get this out of me. School makes me wanna scream, and this is a good vent. Anyways.**_  
_**Enjoy.**_

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Karkat grabbed one of his many friend's arms, urging them to hurry, "Quicken your fucking footsteps! He'll be here any fucking minute, gog damnit!" The troll who he was ushering along was Sollux, who nodded, not having time to snap back at him. Next was Kanaya, who patted Karkat reasuringly, "Karkat, Do not worry. We will be fine." She then followed Sollux. Next came Vriska, smiling, "Heeeeeeeey, Karkat." He looked at her in the eyes, and tugged at her arm, making her shuffle forward. "What, dammit?" She stopped smiling and said in a genuine tone, _"Good luck."_

Vriska ran after the others. Next up was Eridan dragging Feferi. Which wasn't be an understatement that Feferi was being dragged out of the God-forsaken area. Eridan nodded to Karkat, who nodded back. Feferi had been injured, but managed to smile at Karkat, "Don't worry, Karfish, We'll be fin!" Karkat managaed a small smile and a chuckle for her. Equius and Nepeta were coming up, and he could tell that the rest were lagging behind. "Nepeta, you go ahead. I must speak with the lowblo- With Karkat, for a moment."

Nepeta looked at her meow-rail, and smiled quickly, "Alright, Equius! Just furry along, purrease?" She hugged Karkat, and ran. Equius smiled slightly at her turned figure, then to Karkat. "Karkat, please, ensure the safety of every-hoofbeast- Everybody. Excuse me." Karkat sighed, and nodded tiredly. He'd been too afraid to sleep. Not for himself, but for his friends. The only ones he had left. Even if Equius was one of the ones he "disliked". "I intend to get them out safely. You lead the others, sweat filled muscle-beast. I know you can, since you led the blue team."

Equius nodded, and ran after the first group. Karkat looked around, not seeing the others. The only things he could see was a barren land, covered with weird mushrooms. It was by no definition, normal. They won the game. Went to the veil. And, something happened.

To shorten all of the shenanigans, when they got there, and got the humans on their path, hell broke loose. The Veil literally started to collapse piece by piece, leaving the teenage trolls to flee to some planet. It seemed desolate, it was, but after a while, it was awful. Barely enough food to keep them going, and only Gamzee's large supply of Faygo, and Karkat's much more frequent Feeling's Jams kept him from harming others. That, and hanging around the soft-spoken Tavros.

Karkat dislodged those thoughts- His friends are okay, not insane, nor likely to snap. They wouldn't, not under these circumstances. Circumstances, as in the humans were killed by Jack Noir, who found out their plan. He also somehow informed Lord English of their location. He already knew, but it was nice to get some assistance from a space-dog killing machine.

Basically, they were being hunted. And Karkat hasn't slept since the last message he got.

"EB: hey, karkat? Something bad's about to happen. Atleast, that's what Rose said.  
EB: though, I can't see what'll go wrong. EB: We're coming to meet you guys.  
EB: Wait a minute.. I heard something. EB: I'll be back in a second, okay? :B"

He never came back.

Karkat swept away a forming tear. No. He wasn't allowed to cry. Only the others could cry, and Karkat had to be their shoulder to lean on. He'd already failed them. So, he'd never cry infront of them. Only on occasions when Gamzee got Karkat to 'spill the beans', as the humans would phrase it. Karkat sighed, and leaned back on a rock. He knew everyone would be okay. He knew it. Eridn kept hope alive, which was surprising. He kept being arrogent, but never rude.. Well, completely rude.

Everyone did their share of keeping hope up. Keeping their life longer. Even Vriska lightened up on teasing Tavros... That could because Gamzee had been irritated, or it was just like how everyone else was. Karkat thought solemnly, "Trolls? Being nice to each other despite their own fucking blood color?.. Heh, it really has been fucking demolished. Or maybe we're just that fucking desperate."

Something made him snap his head up. It was a few people walking toward him. He knew who, and greeted them openly. "Hurry up, nooksniffers. Everyone else is almost at the pod." Karkat gestured forward, where in the distance was the pod Sollux, Equius, and Vriska built that could take them from the veil to here.. But now from here, to somewhere else.

Gamzee smiled, and waved, helpping Tavros up the little incline. "Hey motherfucker. Aww, really? Motherfuckers all and getting it ready then." Tavros nodded, happy that he could actually walk up hills now. Still not stairs, though. "That's, uhh, great! Let's get to them so we can leave." Tavros chuckled. He'd gained so much self esteem during the past few weeks, with how he was being helpful and not someone dragging the rest down. It was a good feeling.

Aradia nodded, and flew around them, waving to the others to let them know they caught up. They waved back, letting each other know they knew. Things were going splendidedly. Terezi cackled, smelling the pod from such a far distance. "Well, this place isn't going to be very missed! Hehehe." She bounded ahead, tapping expertly with her cane, flying over rocks.

"Don't fucking fall, Terezi." Karkat said, when he pulled the few others up. They all started to walk together, beginning to feel that precious feeling of hope rise up again. They can get stronger, and beat Jack. Maybe even get the chance to injure Lord English.. If possible. Terezi was the first to make it, Aradia, Tavros, Gamzee, and then Karkat. He'd always taken to the back. If they were ambushed, he'd prefer himself taken than any of the others. Karkat watch them ascend into the pod, which had been started right away.

Then there was a strange sound, right after Gamzee entered, leaving Karkat outside. He shrugged, and went inside the pod. Sollux was beginning it when there was a howling from outside the pod.

**Bec Noir.**

Karkat stared, and shook his head. No.. No, everything had been going _perfectly_. This cannot be happening. It can't be. Just.. can't. "Oh shit." Gamzee said, looking out the window. Karkat shoved Gamzee away from there, "Don't get too fucking close, he might stab us right through the fucking pod!" Karkat glared at the dog from inside, and clenched his fists. "I'm going out there. I'm very fucking tired of running from that asshole of a fucking Sly-pawed beast!" They all looked at him, shocked. Even Karkat was slightly shocked, terrified even, but he wasn't about to take it back. **He meant it.**

"Are you a fucking idiot, Kk?! He'll tear you apart!" Sollux stood up, stomping over. "No one ith going out there! That'th thuithide!" Kanaya nodded, "Yes, Karkat. We can't loose you." Karkat glared at them, "But if we take off, he'll just fucking follow us, and then kill us where ever we fucking go! I'm not letting that happen, you idiots, do you fucking hear me?" Everyone stared, and Nepeta grabbed his hand, "Karkitty, don't do this.." He tugged his hand away, and didn't look at her. Equius pulled her away, and looked sadly at Karkat. He knew how he felt. How to want to save the ones you care for.

But, Gamzee was having none of it. Hearing his motherfucking morial basically state that he was going to die pissed him off. "Motherfucker, you are not motherfucking going to do that. I won't motherfucking let you, brother. I'll just motherfucking go instead." He grabbed Karkat's arm harshly. Karkat stared Gamzee in the eyes. "Gamzee, calm down. If I live, you'll know. Besides, Tavros and the others fucking need you. They may need me, but I can't fight as fucking well as you guys. You have to protect them, alright?" Karkat spoke in a soft voice, and papped Gamzee. He pulled his hand off, and grumbled, looking away.

Karkat opened the door, and left quickly, closing it in a hurry. He stepped down, and walked a few feet away from the pod, and felt it rev up from the vibrations. He looked back, seeing a few faces looking at him, others avoiding his gaze, and one or two crying. One was Terezi, who put her hands in the shape of a heart. He knew she couldn't see, but he motioned it back. Aradia looked to Terezi, and she probably told her. She was crying even more now.

Karkat turned around, and felt a heat wave of it flying away. No turning back now. He looked around, and saw Jack swinging his sword, ready for the fight. Time to end this. Karkat pulled out his sickle, and bared his teeth, "I'm very fucking fed up with you and Lord English chasing us! I'll just end your pathetic life here!" Karkat thought of a song Jade had sent to him once, to help him keep his calm, and not chicken out.

**"Lalalalalalalala..."**

He charged, his sickle clashing with Jack's in a fury of sparks. Jack was laughing, but also growling. Karkat pulled back, and swung again.

**"I will never be afraid again."**

Karkat hissed as Jack got one of his arms. He clung to the sickle in that arm anyways. Pain meant nothing if it weren't for his friends being there for him! He'll fight to spare their pain. He gipped the sickles, and counter attacked, landing a strike on Jack's chest.

**"I will keep on fighting till the end."**

Karkat smirked, and started circling around Jack, Letting him know that he wasn't going down without a fight. Jack flew at him after a second, and cut at his head, barely missing. He lost a few locks of hair. Karkat lost his smirk, and bit his lip. He ran at him, and feigned a punch. He ducked, and spun his feet, knocking Jack off of his feet.

**"I can walk on water, I can fly."**

Karkat quickly stabbed Jack's shoulder, but didn't get to pull out his sickle when Jack yanked him off with his tentacles. Jack aimed for a stab at his heart. Karkat paniced, and sliced the tentacles with his remaining sickle. Karkat felt as light as air when he fell. He got up, and ran at him, not sparing Jack a second to react when he stabbed Jack in the heart.

_**"I will keep on fighting till I die."**_

Karkat smirked, and chuckled, when a pain erupted from his side. He looked down, after letting Jack fall. Jack stabbed him. He coughed, and cursed himself fo being open like that. He could've lived! His friends, his morail.. His matesprit would've been able to have him alive.. Injured.. But alive.

He clenched his eyes tightly, the pain in his chest amounting to more than the wound in his right side. He choked up tears, and finally let all of his tears free. He fell to his knees, and gripped the sword. It hurt to touch it, but nevertheless.. He wanted the thing out of him, even if he would bleed to death. He gripped it tightly, and yanked, cursing repeatedly and loudly. He repeated this till he got it all of the way out. He put his hand over his side, and laid down, looking into the sky through blurry eyes. It looked so peaceful, this time of the early morning. Even the weird clouds, stars, and the moon.

He thought silently, "Atleast I get to see a peaceful fucking view before I die. It's so relaxing.. I could go to sleep. I haven't slept in fucking five-ever." He smiled a little more, and started to close his eyes. But before he could completely close them, he saw something coming toward him.

"If it's fucking Lord English, fuck him, I'm going to sleep."

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_**That song was called "I Can Walk on Water" by Bass Hunter. And next chapter will be uploaded after 'Lost in the Darkness'.**_


	2. Dead Hearts

** Song- Dead Hearts, By Stars. Wail until you see the bold.**

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The troll rolled on his side, not being able to sleep well. Things have never been the same since then. Specially with the others he's been with. They're all weird, and one in particular is annoying. But he's just being himself. Anyways, The troll from earlier, the one that rolled on his side, sat up. He couldn't sleep. Again. He slowly stood up from the pile of random materials, to walk around. This place was so much better than the place he was before, with the others. Sure, it's yellow and purple parts were annoying when you run around.. Or rather, away from a said annoying troll.

He sighed, and looked down at his hand.. He missed his friends. Sure, they were some of the stupidest beings in all of Alternia, but..they were his friends.

Karkat clenched his fist and pounded it into the wall. Why couldn't he just save his friends, and live?! Would they even see him again? Are they going to be older trolls, with all of them easily towering over him, even Nepeta?!

Why'd he slip up, and let himself die?.. It hurt to die, but not as much as he felt _alone_. Sure, the trolls here, like Kankri and Porrim talked to him, but they didn't understand why he'd be lonely. He died alone, oh gog,_ so alone yet warm,_ while they all died together. He sacrificed himself, while it was unlikely that any of them would for each other.. His ancestor or descendant, whatever, would talk on and it wouldn't help him. He needed his friends.. They needed him too. Didn't they?

Karkat leaned his head back, and looked at the top of the bubble. He stared up, and sighed. He hasn't really even talked much. When he did though, it wasn't even a yell. More like a harsh whisper, or a quiet tone of annoyance...Until he finally lost his voice. He lulled his head to the side, and closed his eyes. He couldn't stand to look at some of the trolls. It would remind him too much of his friends. The only one he would ever stay around would be Meenah, since she was almost nothing like Feferi. Plus she wasn't as annoying.

But that never happened much. She was always off hunting for something to get money. That, or Kankri pulled him in for a sermon.

He's never hated existing so much. Karkat always found his friends to be annoying, stupid, and just unbearable.

Now he misses those annoying idiots.

Sollux's stupid lisp, and bragging habits.

Kanaya's motherly actions and kindness.

Eridan's whining and stupidity.

Nepeta's drawings and cat puns.

Feferi's glubs and her sweetness.

Tavros's stuttering and how he cared about people, even if they were mean.

Aradia's monotone yet intelligent voice.

Equius's annoying hoofbeast banter and his love for milk.

Vriska's sassy attitude and aggressive style.

Gamzee's stupid honking an his morialship..

Terezi and her cackle, her hanging scalemates, chalk, stupid comics...

Karkat attempted a hiss. He had told himself he wouldn't think about these, they made him feel left out. He wiped away a pale red tear that slipped out. When'd that happen?

When, suddenly he hears someone calling out for him.

"Karkat! Karkat, where are yo+u? There's so+mething yo+u need to+ see."

Porrim. He sighed, and wiped his face off quickly. Probably some sweater for him.

_**Tell me everything that happened, tell me everything you saw.**_

Karkat started walking from the Yellow-Purple, Derse and Propsit kingdom, toward where Porrim called.

**_They had lights inside their eyes, they had lights inside their eyes._**

He tilted his head slightly, irritated, and quickened his pace. He heard other voices.

**_Did you hear the slamming window, did you see the slamming door?_**

He started to run, the voices getting louder. He turned right, and almost skidded into the railing.

_**They moved forth, and my heart died, they moved forth and my heart died.**_

Karkat ran up the stairs, tripping on his face. He rubbed his nose and his mouth twitched into a frown.

**_Please please, tell me what they looked like, did they seem afraid of you?_**

Karkat got to the top, and dusted himself up. He heard someone scream his name. He looked up.

**_They were kids that I once knew, they were kids that I once knew._**

Karkat's eyes widened. His.. His friends.. His white eyes stared at all of the Yellow and one pair of orangish eyes.

**_I can say that you won't believe me.._**

Karkat slowly approached them, noting they were older, taller definitely. Some of them had their entire bodies filled out.

**_You say you do, but you don't deceive me._**

Karkat stopped, and stared at them. How long has it been for them to get this old? Three, four sweeps? Otherwise, for you humans, six or eight years?

_**It's hard to know they're out there.**_

A jade colored troll walked forward and knelt to hug him, squeezing him tightly, "I've Missed You, Karkat..." Slowly, all of the other colors surrounded him, a few crying, or laughing.

_**It's hard to know that you still care.**_

He forced a smile, trying his hardest to not be seen as quiet. Kanaya moved away for a Lioness to squish Karkat. "Karkitty!"

_**I can say it, but you won't believe me.**_

She moved away, and each in turn hugged the smaller troll. Karkat smiled at each of them, his own little smile.

_**You say you do, but you don't deceive me.**_

The soon, it was a yellow, dark purple, and teal left. The yellow approached first and spoke with his lisp, "2hiit, kk, you're really 2hort now." Karkat huffed, and tried to glare, but it came off as an awkward eye twitch. The psionic laughed, and hugged him quickly and tightly.

_**Dead hearts are everywhere.**_

The purple troll came up, towering over everyone. He got to his knees, and still stood higher than his morial. He hugged him, and Karkat hugged back. He papped him slightly, comforting his shaking shoulders. He held him firmly for another moment, but let go, standing up. "Good to motherfucking see you, brother."

**_Dead hearts are everywhere._**

Finally, he stared up at the teal troll. She looked more sophisticated than before, but it was a good look on her. He had her smile on, and cackled. She walked to him, knelt, and kissed him. He stood shocked, but kissed her right before she pulled away.

_**Did you touch them, did you hold them, did they follow you to town?**_

Karkat covered his mouth and closed his eyes. They stung, liquid coming down the sides. He choked out something that was similar to words, but incomprehensible.

_**They make me feel I'm falling down, they make me feel I'm falling down.**_

When they started to ask what's wrong, Karkat started crying rapidly, his voice not capturing all of the words he tried to form. It hasn't been used in so many years. It just sounded like a bunch of jumbled words.

**_Was there one you saw too clearly, did they seem too real to you?_**

Karkat fell to his knees, gasping out, trying to scream out the words. A few tried to get him to calm down, but he wouldn't stop.

**_They were kids that I once knew, they were kids that I once knew._**

He stood up, finally ticked off at himself for letting himself fall so low. To fall into desperation when he should have known they would have come to him. Or even tried to. He clenched his fists, and attempted to scream out the words he was trying to say.

_**I can say it, but you won't believe me. You say you do, but you don't deceive me. It's hard to know they're out there.**_

"I'M SO FUCKING SORRY FOR DYING!... I'M SORRY I LEFT YOU ALL TO FUCKING FIGHT LORD ENGLISH ALONE... WITHOUT A LEADER..I'M FUCKING SORRY I LET YOU ALL DOWN, AND...i'm just.. fucking sorry.." He started coughing, his throat in pain from screaming. It even drew Kankri out from his sleep, which was insanely hard. He stared at all of them, and saw Karkat crying. Porrim made sure he didn't go into the group and start babbling off about triggers. They probably didn't care to hear that right now.

**_It's hard to know that you still care. I can say it, but you won't believe me._**

Kanaya sat next to Karkat, and put a hand on his shoulder. Gamzee sat next to him, and draped an arm around him. Terezi sat in front of him, trying to tell him it's okay. "K4RK4T, 1T'S 4LR1GHT-" He coughed and said, "NO IT'S NOT, DAMMIT, I FUCKING FAILED YOU ALL!"

_**You say you do, but you don't deceive me. Dead hearts are everywhere.**_

"I DIED, AND LEFT YOU ALL ALONE, LEFT YOU ALL TO SEE MY DAMN CORPSE ON THE GROUND. THE PROOF IS MY FUCKING EYES AND DAMNED VOICE!" He screeched it out, and sobbed it out. He shouldn't be crying in front of them. He was still their leader.. Right? He coughed again, but couldn't speak. He pushed his voice past it's limits.

**_They were kids that I once knew, but they are dead hearts to you..._**

They crowded closer to him, and hugged him. Trolls of all castes, having a group hug with a mutant in the middle. It sickened a few of the onlookers, but made a few smile, including Kankri. Karkat sat there, in their massive arms, being cooed to.

They grew up.. But Karkat's stuck in the past.. No voice to change it, and no life to make it better.  
The only thing he had was the trolls that moved past him. They still cared, but things weren't the same.

Karkat was truly alone, despite his dearest friends surrounding him. He felt alone. He couldn't talk much, couldn't leave the bubbles to his knowledge, and they had left him behind.

He acted if he was okay now. He scowled at them the best he could, and only talked when things needed answers.

They left him. Left him on the desert, next to Jack Noir's body. Alone. Not even bothering to come check out his body. The dot he saw was them leaving.

**Dead hearts are everywhere...**

_Karkat felt so alone. He has never hated his existence so much._


End file.
